1Once upon a time there was an emperor.
2He had a big round belly,
3bushy eyebrows and a very long moustache.
4But he was very vain.
5All he thought about was himself.
6"I am so wonderful!" he would say.
7Look at my wonderful eyebrows!
8Look at my excellent moustache!
9I look marvelous!
10The emperor loved to wear fancy clothes.
11He had 400 fancy shirts.
12300 pairs of fancy pants.
13and 1000 pairs of fancy socks.
14The emperor also loved to say fancy words, like...
15"Empirical", "Cantankerous", "Discombobulate".
16He didn't know what the fancy words meant,
17but he liked to say them anyway.
18He liked to sound intelligent.
19"I am so intelligent!" he said.
20"I am a genius!"
21One day, a man arrived at the palace.
22He said that he was a tailor.
23He said he could make the fanciest clothes in the land.
24But really, this man was a dishonest man.
25He earned his money by fooling rich people.
26The tailor brought the emperor 10 suitcases.
27"Your most majestic and intelligent majesty..." he said.
28"Everybody knows that you are the most intelligent man in the world."
29"And I have created some amazing new clothes."
30"These clothes are only for intelligent people."
31"In fact, stupid people cannot even see these clothes..."
32The emperor clapped his hands.
33"Amazing!"
34"With these clothes I can know who is smart and who is stupid!"
35"I will never be bothered by idiots again!"
36"Let me try these clothes!"
37The tailor undressed the emperor until he stood only in his underpants.
38He unpacked his tape measure.
39He measured the emperor's arms, legs, shoulders,
40and all around his big round belly.
41The tailor reached inside one of the suitcases.
42No... no... this one is too big.
43No... this one is too small.
44Ahh! This one is perfect!
45He pretended to lift a shirt out of the suitcase.
46"What do you think?" said the tailor.
47The emperor gasped.
48He could not see anything!
49"Isn't it wonderful?" said the tailor.
50And remember...
51Only intelligent people will be able to see it!
52The tailor reached into his suitcase again.
53Look at these pants!
54Aren't they beautiful?
55And they are completely invisible to idiots!
56And look at this jacket!
57See the colours?
58A complete nincompoop will see absolutely nothing!
59"Oh, oh, yes... yes... very nice!" stammered the emperor.
60But he was confused.
61Why couldn't he see the clothes?
62"Surely it's not possible that I am an idiot?!" he thought.
63A complete moron would not know fancy words like...
64"Vestibule", "Crepuscular", "Flibbertigibbet".
65But the emperor said nothing.
66The tailor pretended to dress the emperor
67in the invisible shirt, pants, jacket, and shoes.
68The emperor stood in front of the mirror.
69He wanted to see the clothes,
70but all he saw was his big, round belly and his underpants.
71"I'm not sure that it's really my style..." said the emperor.
72But let me get a second opinion.
73The emperor called three of his most intelligent friends into the room.
74"Friends! What do you think of these new clothes?"
75"Only intelligent people can see these clothes."
76"Stupid people see nothing at all!"
77Of course, his friends didn't see anything either.
78But they did not want to look stupid.
79"Oh, yes! That is a great shirt!" said the first friend.
80"Yes! The pants are the perfect color," said the second friend.
81"Cool shoes!" said the third friend.
82The emperor was excited.
83I will wear these new clothes in the parade tomorrow!
84The emperor gave the tailor a lot of money.
85The tailor left the palace with ten suitcases full of gold.
86When he was safely in his carriage, he laughed long and hard.
87"What a doofus!"
88That night, the Emperor did not sleep.
89He stayed up late, reading the biggest, heaviest books in his library.
90"I just need a few more fancy words..."
91"Then I'll be able to see my clothes!" he thought.
92In the morning, two servants came to the Emperor's room to dress him for the parade.
93Of course, they couldn't see any clothes either.
94But they said nothing.
95They did not want to look stupid.
96They pretended to dress the emperor in invisible pants,
97invisible shirt
98invisible jacket
99and an invisible hat.
100The emperor looked at himself in the mirror.
101He stared and he squinted.
102He turned his head left and right.
103And... wait!
104There it was!
105Out of the corner of his eye,
106he thought he saw a slight shimmering fabric.
107A checkered pattern.
108A tiny bit of colour.
109He could see the clothes!
110In reality, there were no clothes.
111But we often see what we want to see.
112The emperor was happy that he could finally see the clothes.
113"Let's join the parade!" he shouted.
114Everybody from the town was at the parade.
115All the intelligent people were there:
116All the scientists.
117All the writers.
118All the teachers.
119And all the children.
120The emperor stood in his open carriage and waved to the crowd.
121But as the emperor's carriage drove down the street,
122the crowd fell silent.
123The music stopped.
124Everybody stared at the emperor.
125"These clothes must be amazing..." thought the emperor.
126But then, from the back of the crowd,
127a small child yelled:
128"Mummy, I can see his underpants!"
129Everybody gasped.
130Then there were a few giggles.
131And then everyone on the street laughed, and laughed...
132and laughed even harder.
133They clapped and shouted: underpants! underpants!
134The emperor heard the crowd laugh.
135He knew he had been fooled.
136He wasn't wearing special clothes.
137He was wearing nothing!
138only his underpants.
139He jumped out of the carriage and ran all the way back to the palace.
140Behind him, he heard: "underpants! underpants!"
141He ran to his bedroom and slammed the door.
142Later, when his friends found him,
143he was lying on his bed.
144He was wearing all his real clothes:
145all his fancy shirts
146all his fancy pants
147and all 1000 pairs of fancy socks.